Fortunes

While in the process of reducing rubbish, I cleaned off the refrigerator the other day. I came across a collection of fortunes from cookies obtained at Chinese restaurants over a certain period of time. I collect these fortunes for what I’ll call their literary value, which probably doesn’t make a lot of sense but we’ll leave it at that. Anyway, I noticed that a disproportionately high number of these fortunes had to do with inheriting money; large sums of money, I might add, from “unexpected” or “surprising” sources.

Hmmm… This got me thinking about the possibility I might have a rich aunt somewhere that I’ve never met, who knows about me even though I don’t know about her. I found myself fantasizing that she’d die and a boatload of money would come my way. Of course that made me feel like a cold-hearted bitch, so I amended my fantasy to her being very old and sick and wanting to die, and THEN dying and leaving me a boatload of money. No, not there yet. How about if she were very, very old, like 150 years old, and healthy as a horse, with all her faculties intact, and still enjoying life, and, and… and then, of course, I would want to know this woman, and hear her stories, and I would grow to love her, and wouldn’t want her to die. Ever.

So there you have it. It doesn’t pay to fantasize. It might, however, pay to eat Chinese food. After all, a boatload of fortunes telling you you’re going to inherit a boatload of money has got to be worth something…don’t you think?