The days are quickly becoming warmer, with temperatures in the 90’s recently. It feels too early to me for that kind of heat, and of course it is. (We all know about that.) During the day it’s oppressive, especially when it’s humid too, which is usually the case.
Since I grew up here, you might think these first few days of summer-like weather would lead to memories of my youth in the suburbs of Baltimore. But the summers of my entire childhood were spent in national parks scattered across the country, predominately in the west, so most of them were quite unlike summers here. More trails than roads, more animals than people, vividly colored wildflowers growing freely outside the front door, and in general cooler, shorter, drier summers.
So on days like this my mind goes to our visits, on the way to and/or from the parks, to my grandparents’ farm in Kentucky, where the climate was much the same as it is here. Without air conditioning and being outside much of the day anyway (I was, after all, a child whose first priority was play), I remember feeling hopeful and spoiled in the placid early mornings, heavy and sleepy in the middle of the day, and soothed when the sun went down and the insects began to sing. An evening’s entertainment for myself and my older brother entailed slipping outside at dusk with an empty jar apiece and collecting as many fireflies as we could inside them, marveling at the succession of brilliant spots of light appearing then disappearing within our hot little hands.
I felt much the same rhythm to the days during my time in Asia a few years ago, though I was there in autumn rather than summer, and how much or little rainfall we got was more of a determining factor, compared to temperature, on the course of our day. In tropical climates where the seasons are defined by amount of rainfall, you wouldn’t do anything or go anywhere if you were waiting for a cool day. Air conditioning is not ubiquitous as it is here, and since I typically travel on a fairly tight budget, I could never count on staying in a motel that had it. When we did, it felt like a grand luxury. Cheap motels are the norm across much of Asia if you aren’t too picky, and my half of a night’s stay averaged $10 at most. We never considered camping, the first thought in places like the U.S., Canada, and much of Europe.
I recalled this fact recently when I read about a couple who were motorcycling around India and chose to camp, which proved to be a big mistake. Even if inexpensive lodging weren’t readily abundant, India, like most Asian countries I’ve visited, doesn’t jump to mind when I think of places to camp. There are people everywhere. There are no secluded public spaces, there are no campgrounds either public or private, or national parks that provide camping facilities. There is little to no chance of finding any privacy anywhere. I expect if you were up in the Himalayas you could find wilderness, people-free zones, and perhaps there, camping would be a viable option. But not anywhere near the cities, which are wall-to-wall humanity. Anyway, this couple chose to camp, and they were attacked by a gang of men who beat the husband and repeatedly raped the wife, then disappeared into the darkness, leaving the couple, battered and bleeding, with little to no hope of anyone ever finding, much less prosecuting, the perpetrators of this violence. Those men, the criminals, surely committed their atrocities within a stone’s throw of other people who might have intervened, people who were accustomed to tuning out the sounds around them that accompany everyday life in an overpopulated, poverty stricken urban area in the 21st century: cars backfiring, horns honking, bottles breaking, doors slamming, and people making the noises that people make – moaning, crying, shouting, wailing. These men did what they did and then walked away into the crowded streets, melted into the masses, absorbed into the darkness.
I wondered what led this couple to think it would be safe to camp there. Were they new to overland travel? Were they trusting of everyone, even strangers? Had they not researched their destination ahead of time? Or was personal safety not something they had yet to consider, because it had never been an issue before. Do you have to have been traumatized in some way, I wonder, in order to feel that the world is inherently unsafe? I’m sure there are people who are raised in families where this sentiment is passed on to them, through repeated stories, cautions, and behaviors, but is this enough? Or do you have to have known that at a visceral level, strongly enough to resist the urge to do something you suspect is reckless because it is so tempting? And where do you draw the line, between caution and risk? It is one of the saddest realities most of us will have to acknowledge at some point in our lives, that no matter how many precautions a person takes, how many risks they avoid, it is so often mere chance that leads tragedy to befall them. It is always someone else, until it is us, after which we take every step with our eyes wide open.
For the couple who were attacked, this is almost certainly all they will remember of India, forever – they are forever changed, forever scarred. I hope it won’t stop them from traveling though, from giving other places and other people a chance to make their mark, to layer over the trauma with happy memories, not undo it (that’s impossible), but perhaps to begin to redeem; that experience if not those men in particular. Isn’t that really what we look for in life, if we persist in living, not just existing? Layer upon layer of some shade of beauty or joy to redeem all that which is not? Take precautions, and take risks. It’s not one or the other, and there are no guarantees which way it will go, whatever you do.
I have persisted in living, so far anyway. Most days my layer of redemption is thin and pale. That’s okay though, because they accumulate, these layers. Today it’s forecast to be 92 degrees in Baltimore, so outside of a morning walk, I’ll probably stay indoors. Baseball season is underway, and the Orioles have gotten off to a fine start, leading their division. Most of the games have been played in the evening so far, with a few afternoon games thrown in, typically on the weekend, but today will be the odd weekday afternoon game. I’ll sit in an armchair in my father’s living room where he’ll have the radio on, turned up loud because his hearing isn’t what it used to be. We’ll listen to the game, we’ll cheer together whenever they score, and mutter blasphemous clichés when they don’t. When Gunner Henderson steps up to bat I’ll smile to myself because he bears a strong resemblance to Jackson in both looks and demeanor. In my mind’s eye, for an instant, it’s Jackson up there (who used to play baseball too), then the moment passes and someone else is in front of home plate. The windows will be open because my father hasn’t yet turned on the air conditioner, and between the breeze and the overhead fan, we’ll be cool enough on a sultry summer’s day.